Welcome To Hell...I'll be your tour guide!!

Hey ya'll! My name is Zach and let me tell ya a bit about my self. Now I may not sound it at the mo' but I'm extremely intelligent. I have a 3.5 GPA and an IQ score of 175...did I mention I'm modest too? Anyway I have an awesome collection of friends and of course, a horde of enemies. My best friends are some crazy fuckers and their names are as follow. First their is Taylor who is perhaps one of the biggest queens to ever roam this god-forsaken rock we call home. Next is my token black friend (more like a dark caramel) Brenda...she has a temper but I love her. Brenda also happens to be my wife! I also have a husband, another wife, and a collection of hoes! What is a man to do? Anyhow, back to my friends. There is Teagan my other wife who is this little sprig of a person but whose temper matches that of a raging inferno. Others include Christian, Clay (husband), Cameron, Jessica, Danielle, Sarah, and so forth. The only person I forgot is perhaps our greatest enemy in our deranged world. Her name Ashley Ott and she is one of the nastiest things to ever walk. She has nappy hair that make people cry...she smells constantly of a mixture of decay, garbage, and failure! She also is a moron and via her own admittance , is a slutty bitch. Well that's my world in a nutshell...if you don't like it IDGAF